This Halloween

This Halloween…

I made an extra effort to be nice to the teenagers this year.  You know, the ones who trigger-treat.

I had a young client tell me that the thing she learned from Halloween is that people are nice to young children – “you can even go to their house and they’ll give you candy” – but. at some point when you become a teenager, they turn on you.

She said trigger-treating is a good example of that – “They look at you like you don’t belong.
Like all of a sudden you’re stealing, or something.”

She said she knew she ‘was’ too old but that the meta lesson was very powerful, for her.

So, anytime a teen would come, I’d be extra nice, and then reward myself for being so nice with a little more candy…

(I think Snickers are over-all the best, followed by Reese’s.  The Hershey’s little chocolate squares are right up there somewhere.)

The Daily Now – Nov 2009

This blog is to give people the opportunity to share experiences and observations related to teachings presented in The Daily Now.

The blog is moderated and the guidelines for blogging are:

1. Share from personal experience.

2. Advice giving is withheld.

3. Speak from a place of not-knowing.

Why Is Awareness NOT Also an Hypothesis?

Close your eyes and look within and asked yourself, “Am I aware,” or “Is there awareness present, here, in this moment?”

If the answer is, “No” then see if you can prove to yourself that there isn’t awareness; that you’re not aware. You won’t be able to prove it, but try.

If the answer is, “Yes” – “There is awareness.” Then ask, “Who or what am I that is aware?” and seek that. You won’t be able to find that, either, but try.

The best you can do is say, “I know that I am aware but I don’t know who or what I am that is aware; therefore, I must be awareness itself.”

In fact, that is the only thing we can know for sure: that there is awareness – the proof is from the inside out. You don’t have to believe or hypothesize anything to ‘know’ that to be true.

The Scientific Method is the opposite: It ‘assumes’ awareness and then tries to prove or understand (hypothesize) ‘what is’ or ‘what is not’ happening in the field of awareness.

That is, identifying the ‘objects’ in awareness – but not awareness itself, which it can’t do.

That is because anything can’t know itself.

Water knows of the ocean but the ocean can’t know the water (from which it is made).

Awareness can’t be proven or disproven.

You asked a vital question that is good to struggle with for awhile.

Why is Awareness NOT Also an Hypothesis?

Close your eyes and look within and asked yourself, “Am I aware,” or “Is there awareness present, here, in this moment?”

If the answer is, “No” then see if you can prove to yourself that there isn’t awareness; that you’re not aware. You won’t be able to prove it, but try.

If the answer is, “Yes” – “There is awareness.” Then ask, “Who or what am I that is aware?” and seek that. You won’t be able to find that, either, but try.

The best you can do is say, “I know that I am aware but I don’t know who or what I am that is aware; therefore, I must be awareness itself.”

In fact, that is the only thing we can know for sure: that there is awareness – the proof is from the inside out. You don’t have to believe or hypothesize anything to ‘know’ that to be true.

The Scientific Method is the opposite: It ‘assumes’ awareness and then tries to prove or understand (hypothesize) ‘what is’ or ‘what is not’ happening in the field of awareness.

That is, identifying the ‘objects’ in awareness – but not awareness itself, which it can’t do.

That is because anything can’t know itself.

Water knows of the ocean but the ocean can’t know the water (from which it is made).

Awareness can’t be proven or disproven.

You asked a vital question that is good to struggle with for awhile.

Today I Stopped By Starbucks…

Today I stopped by Starbucks to get ‘my’ drink.

There was a line and it wasn’t moving.

The couple ahead of me was doing more than just buying coffee – they were taking-time and delaying whatever was supposed to be happening next.  Which, in this case, was me ordering my 1/2 caf Americano, tall, with room.

‘I was in a hurry.’  I considered options, which included the thought that I could just leave.  I contemplated that a bit.  Like, no need to get upset, just quietly turn and walk out.  Would that leave ‘attitude’?  Did I kinda want that?  Could I do it without leaving ‘attitude.’

Something decided the solution of leaving wasn’t satisfying; after all, I did want a cup of coffee, so I stayed.

Then I realized that actually, I wasn’t in a hurry at all.

I had lots of time in the scheme of what I’d set out to do that afternoon; which was to go to Home Depot and look at chain saws.  There’s something satisfying about looking at machinery – metal that can chew up wood, the smell of 4-cycle mixed-fuel exhaust, buzz sound – and, I was just going to go look.  I had all afternoon, if I wanted.

So then I thought, “This will be a good chance to just feel it.”

To feel my discomfort.

I did, and like it didn’t go away.

In my stomach and chest was tightness.  A voice was saying ‘these people are too much.’

I just noticed – and burned.  Stood very still.

After a cresendo of inner tension, it passed.

I was then left with being amazed at how peaceful it was.

In ‘reality’ nothing had changed – but in non-reality, the new reality, it was very different.

I asked myself, “Where did that come from?  That ‘that’ that needed to be in a hurry?  Who or what wanted that?  Could I find that?

No.  I couldn’t.

I did finally get served.  I can’t say that the outer experience was ‘magically’ any different at all.  The couple was still being self-indulgent but no longer a pain in the ass.

But I was different, or ‘there was difference within.’

Observing, noticing, looking within, not finding – all of that.

The Daily Now – October, 2009

Readers of The Daily Now are invited to share their thoughts, feelings and experiences related to the teachings presented.

This is a moderated list and guidelines are as follows:

1.  Advice giving is withheld

2.  Share from personal experience

3.  There is no one who knows

Is This Moment So Bad?

I move away from thinking things ’should be’ different than they are.

I say to myself, “Things ‘could be’ different but they’re not.

I then ask myself, “Is this moment so bad (or is what’s happening now so bad) that I can’t allow myself to ‘feel it’, exactly as it is?”

‘Feeling it’ includes the emotions (fear, anger, grief) and the body sensations (chest tension, stomach butterflies, etc).

All you do is ask the question.

Inquire.

Don’t concern yourself with the answer.

September 2009 – Daily Now Blog

Readers of The Daily Now are invited to share their thoughts, feelings and experiences related to the teachings presented.

This is a moderated list and guidelines are as follows:

1.  Advice giving is withheld

2.  Share from personal experience

3.  There is no one who knows

The Collison of Reality with Acceptance

The past few days have been difficult for me, a mixed bag of feelings around two major events in the news.  One is the capture of the man who kidnapped an 11-year old girl 18 years ago, and the other is death of Ted Kennedy.

As the father of two daughters, I can’t help but wonder how the Kopechne’s feel now and can’t image what it must be like to be the mother and former step father of the little-girl-now-an-adult that was found.

It may be that the good things “Teddy” did for the good of the nation were somehow bolstered or enhanced by the tragedy at Chappaquiddick but there’s a nagging feeling of unease.

The evil played out by the man and his wife in California is unimaginable and while it may appear that the sex-offender-registry system has failed it is also an indication of the serious nature of the problem.  Also, one needs to consider how many children have been protected because of it, which you really can’t know.

In Dallas country he would have been polygraphed once a year and if he failed he would have to explain himself and he would be looked at more closely.   He would be polygraphed more often and a series of failed polygraphs would put him back in front of the judge.   (But not all probation departments and court jurisdictions have the same standards, policies and restrictions.)

There are half a million registered sex offenders in the United States so if we put them all in jail and threw away the key, that’d be a lot of prisons.

Not all sex offenders pose the same level of risk.  The difficult, but important, part is separating the psychopathic offenders from the ones who have actually learned their lesson.

The myth that sex offenders can’t be treated was started by psychologists and so it’s up to the mental health field to correct the problem.

The major issue for the culture is being able to focus our resources in the right place; in this case, on the right offenders.   Also, EMDR is an effective treatment for deviant arousal.

But what is the connection between the two events?  I don’t know.

Don’t bore me with forgiveness.  That’s a projection.

The only person to forgive is ones’ self because there is only one.

So, is this about acceptance?  Or violence against woman?  Or a father’s concern for his daughters?  Or do I just go with the feelings?  Truly, what is being revealed?

How to Approach Causal Felt-Resonance

How to Approach Causal Felt-Resonance:

1.    We begin by placing our attention upon the circumstance within our life experience that we feel we need or want to do something about (but about which all doing continually fails us).

2.    We allow the mental body to commence telling its story about this circumstance. It may start by saying, “my wife is always…,” “i hate my work because…,” “my father never lets me…,” “i have a terminal disease called…,” or “no matter how i try to….” It does not matter what the story is. It only matters that we tell ourselves the story until it brings awareness to the uncomfortable felt-resonance associated with this story. The only relevance of “the story” within not-doing is that it is bait for the conscious entrapment of the uncomfortable felt-resonance.

3.    It also does not matter what word we use to spell out this uncomfortable felt-resonance. What matters most is that we consciously wield our awareness to identify where we feel it. This uncomfortable feeling is anchored somewhere in and around our physical body.

4.    The moment we identify where this is, we commence being with it.

Michael Brown, Revelation of Being article.