I had an insight or realization today that I’m sure I’ve read before, several times (in The Presence Process), but it hit me different this time. Which is, that I always try to make ‘sense’ out of what I am feeling.
Something will happen, like yesterday a prospective new client scheduled a session and then canceled after going to my website. When I read that in the scheduling notes, it felt bad. I could tell myself a story about the person or me and how I present myself, but still the feeling felt like a dull knot in the stomach. These days, of course, and for the past few years, I feel the feeling (sensations, disappointment, or whatever) and I let go of the story.
But then when the dull knot reappeared this morning I thought, “maybe it’s not about the cancellation, maybe it’s just a feeling coming through the form and there is no connection to anything.” I noticed that.
That was good and it opened me up to the possibility that perhaps that is true about all feelings, all the time.
And if it is true, what does that mean?
I had a similar exp this morning. Returning to a physical spot where an altercation took place a few weeks ago brings up a “feeling” creating the knot once again. Not wanting to feel bad, resistance sets in, the thought takes off and the story continues. There is awareness of what is happening, but the knot remains and the thoughts continue to roll through.. I like your take on your situation… perhaps as I let go the the story, the feelings will let go of me… <3
Connie,
Thanks for your sharing. I think you have have it. The following may be for me and helping me clarify my understanding:
To be clear, I am suggesting that when you return to the spot of the altercation and the feelings arise, you would even let go of the ‘thought’ that the altercation is related to the feeling that is arising.
So it’s a double release. There is letting go of the story about the how the feeling was created, and then there is letting go of the ‘thought’ that attaches the feeling to a personal experience, in any way.
The self-talk would be, “Oh here is a feeling arising in the body, isn’t that interesting. Let me feel it.”
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Now we want to be careful with the “perhaps as I let go of the story, the feelings will let go of me,” because that sounds like a ‘condition’; and we want to ‘feel-without-condition.’
Which means, the feelings may or may not let go, either option is okay, neither option is preferred.
Then the question would be, “Then why would I do it?”
And that would be a good question. j
stepping out of time is key— and what comes ‘first’ isn’t important. The feeling wants to be felt,-the knot is a vibration that is not your oneness– it creates situation cuz it knows that will allow space for it to unfold-to be felt, if container (you) allows. Knot wants to be felt, knot orchestrates rejection so it can be felt, get the mind out of the way, eventually it will. Just feel…..that is my experience, all stories exist in time.